John Legend and Kelly Clarkson are both I credible vocalists, and for the first few seconds of their “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” cover, you think you’re in for a real treat. Unfortunately, it goes downhill fast: all you really need to know is that their #metoo era version this classic Christmas song sucks ass, and it does so without consent.

A true, stereotypical, self-victimizing Social Justice Warrior could actually argue that this song does the opposite of what it sets out to do, in a “men are so toxic and manipulative” sort of way. Despite the fact that the whole song is centered around a woman lamenting over how she shouldn’t stay the night with a man, she ultimately decides not to go home. The whole thing could be interpreted as an exercise in reverse psychology on the part of Legend’s character, who spends the entire song agreeing that she should leave, only to ultimately have her stay. I don’t subscribe to that ridiculous notion (though I’m sure the most liberal SJWs would), I just think the song sucks.

Furthermore, the songwriter who penned the original ballad, Frank Loesser (1910-1969), is credited with writing this horrible perversion as well, which I think is a legitimate example of doing something without consent. He does not deserve credit for the cringeworthy lyrics in Legend’s version of this song, which include such lines as “I’ve got to go away/I can call you a ride”, and “So, really, I’d better scurry/your driver, his name is Murray”.

If you’re looking for a charming, enjoyable new cover of “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” from artists with similarly incredible voices, look no further than Idina Menzel and Michael Buble’s cover.

Frozen is the type of iconic film that has such a strong cultural presence that it’s difficult to escape. Despite its near omnipresence in DVD players, Target toy aisles, and happy meals, it doesn’t seem like anyone really got sick of Frozen in the past six years since its release, which is a testament to just how charming it was. It was an absurdly likable film made by talented artists. It had an uplifting message, fun songs, a solid plot, and it was visually interesting.

While I certainly liked Frozen, I’m about a decade and a half removed from their target audience, so I probably wouldn’t have seen Frozen II in theaters if it weren’t for a gaggle of little cousins that brought me along, however, I’m glad I went.

Frozen II was a strong sequel, and the box office proves it; according to Disney, it had the biggest global animated debut of all time. Like the first, this movie also has a good message and enjoyable music, was created by the same group of gifted artists, and is even more visually appealing.

⚠️ Spoiler Warning

As far as the plot goes, I don’t want to give away too much, but suffice it to say that the story was complex and fast moving without being overly dense. I particularly enjoyed the whole “Avatar Elsa” twist. It also teaches kids the value of looking at history for yourself and making your own decisions about the truth, rather than blindly accepting what you’ve always been told.

The music was the first film’s greatest strength, and while no song in the sequel lived up to “Let It Go”, that was such an extremely high bar that I didn’t really expect them to clear it, and I don’t think they set out with the goal of outdoing themselves. However, there are more songs in this movie that could be enjoyed without immediately seeing the movie in your head.

Idina Menzel again has the strongest song in the movie, “Into The Unknown”, while Johnathan Groff’s 80s style “Lost In The Woods” is a close second, for me. If you’re checking out the album, Panic! At The Disco’s cover of “Into The Unknown” is solid, too. I wish they’d given Kristen Bell more songs because I really like her voice, but oh well. Also, the folky, Nordic sounding vocals throughout the film were terrific, and I’m glad they were able to finally explain the music from the first film’s opening credits in a way that fit the story.

Frozen II is a strong sequel. The two films each stand on their own but complement one another nicely. Should Disney make a third? Probably not. Should you drop what you’re doing and run to the theater to see this one? Also probably not. But should you tag along if you get the chance? For sure.

At $4.99/month, Apple’s new TV subscription is an interesting proposal. On one hand, it’s crazy cheap compared to other streaming services. On the other hand, you currently only get access to about a dozen shows, as Apple doesn’t have any sort of back catalog; it’s just their brand new, original content.

Don’t get me wrong, the shows I’ve watched so far were really well made, and they were engaging. I’ve really enjoyed “The Morning Show” and “For All Mankind”. Both shows have one hour episodes that are compelling enough that I remember to come back to the app every Friday to catch the new episodes. The Apple TV+ catalog seems to focus on dramas, but there is a variety of content, ranging from a nature documentary, to a thriller, to a “Snoopy” cartoon. I’m also pleased to see that Apple has taken a very hands off approach to regulating their catalog — it doesn’t seem that they’re censoring anything for the sake of maintaining a “family friendly” rating — by all accounts, they appear to have given the artists free range for creative expression.

Apple’s venture into original video content had a shaky foundation, though, let’s not forget. A moment of silence is due for Apple’s seemingly-forgotten, previous endeavors with original TV content, “Planet of The Apps” and “Carpool Karaoke”… These shows were released a couple years ago as an odd benefit for Apple Music subscribers, and they still exist in the music app, for better or for worse. While “Carpool Karaoke” without James Corden was a completely uninteresting flop, “Planet of The Apps” was actually a cool idea, and I wish they’d at least tossed it in with the available Apple TV+ content rather than leaving it to rot in the music app, which didn’t make a lot sense in the first place. Oh well, I’m glad they didn’t give up.

The bottom line is this: you should give Apple TV+ a shot. Maybe the shows that I really enjoyed won’t be the ones for you, but there is a lot of variety, and it’s all very well produced. On top of that, Apple is clearly committed to succeeding in this arena, because they’re dropping billions on producing this content, and have a lot of other cool shows slated for the coming months. You get at least a week for free, and anyone who buys a new iPhone, iPad, Mac, or Apple TV will qualify for a free year: there’s no reason not to try it.

Bonus points for Apple TV+: from a privacy perspective, Apple is leagues ahead of their competitors (I’m talking about you, Netflix), who pay very close attention to what you’re watching, use that data to profile you, and then sell you out to other companies that will use that data against you to hit you with targeted ads. Apple doesn’t do that.

Taylor Swift’s latest album dropped in August, and I’ve been sitting on my thoughts about it for a while, giving them some time to mature.

First, my general feelings:

I was extremely excited for this album in the months leading up to its release, but in the week or two right before it came out, I started to lose a little bit of hope. After all, despite my glowing initial reviews of the first two singles, “ME!” and “You Need To Calm Down,” neither of them had a lot of replay value; I soon got tired of hearing both of them. “ME!” was too simplistic and juvenile, and YNTCD was just too political. When “The Archer” was released, I was still extremely excited, and it got me thinking that the album would have a wide range of sounds, which turned out to be completely accurate. But when the “Lover” single came out, I was taken aback by how distinctly country the beginning of the song was, which turned out to be a hint that the whole album would be extremely sonically diverse. Listening to the “Lover” single made me happy, and I’m sure it made Joe Alwyn happy, but it’s not particularly relatable for fans who haven’t found their happily ever afters (in fact, quite a few songs ended up being too specific to be relatable).

When the album was finally released and I started listening to the first track, all of the hope that had been waning away in the weeks before was immediately restored. Unfortunately, it wasn’t too many tracks later before some of that hope began to wane again. Overall I like the album, but I’ll be the first to admit this isn’t her finest work. The album has a LOT of lyrics, and it’s frankly too long. At least two songs, if not three or four, could’ve been left out altogether and the album would’ve been better for it.

There were several recurring themes that I found quite interesting, yet they’re still largely unexplained. Examples include: the color blue, religion, and patriotism.

Also, Lover is not at all sonically cohesive. It has often been compared to Red on account of it’s strong lyrics, but this is another thing they have in common. The order of the tracks is astonishingly bad, especially given how well they could’ve been placed. Seriously, a couple of the transitions gave me whiplash.

Song by Song:

“I Forgot That You Existed”: 7.5/10

This song was fun and instantly revitalized my excitement for the album the first time I heard it.

“Cruel Summer”: 9/10

One of the strongest tracks, hands down. At this point on the first run through, I was convinced the album was gonna slap. It reminded me a lot of 1989, which was, in my opinion, Taylor’s strongest record.

“Lover”: 5/10

This song is sweet and the type of thing you’d write for someone you want to spend your life with, so I don’t think you can fault her for writing it, it just isn’t super relatable for a lot of people, as I mentioned before.

“The Man”: 0/10

Taking things a step further than “unrelatable” is “The Man,” which down right alienates half the people in the world, and soured the whole album, and to an extent, her entire discography. This song tries to make a political/social point, and it sucks for that reason alone, but the misandrous nature of this track is what makes it my least favorite Taylor Swift song ever. To hear her tell it, being a man makes life a breeze. Nobody will ever question your credibility if you have a wiener. Being a man makes you complex and cool. All men have unshakable confidence and are always socially dominant alpha males with no fear. Nobody ever criticizes a man’s sexuality or paints their virility in a negative light (which is especially false for same sex attracted men — did her ignorance simply allow her to overlook that demographic, or did she determine that the lyric doesn’t apply to that group because they’re not really “real men” — in any case, it’s very problematic). She seems to think that men don’t deal with real problems and that being a man makes life easy, which is a notion I find personally hurtful. She doesn’t owe me anything and she can write whatever she wants, but as a long time fan and vociferous defender of Taylor Swift, this song made me feel extremely unappreciated. If she wanted to comment on how the media portrays her, she should’ve referred people back to “Blank Space,” because that was the purpose of that song, it didn’t presume hurtful things about entire groups of people, and she’s never going to top it anyway.

“The Archer”: 6/10

I’d been hoping for a devastatingly sad song on this album, and this is as close as we got. I’m not mad, it’s extremely introspective which I think is terrific, but I don’t think anyone is crying their eyeballs out over it.

“I Think He Knows”: 8.5/10

This is one of the album’s high points, and it kicks off the strongest segment of songs in a row (roughly tracks 6-11). The song is just fun.

“Miss Americana And The Heartbreak Prince”: 5/10

I have an unfortunate feeling that this may be the “So It Goes…” of this album. They’re both track 7 and they’re both sonically dull and to my untrained ear. However, they couldn’t be more opposite from a lyrical perspective. “So It Goes…” was very flat and repetitive, while MAATHP has a ton of lyrics and metaphors, which certainly work in its favor.

“Paper Rings”: 5/10

This feels very mid 00s, kids’ movie montage-y. It reminds me a lot of Walking on Sunshine and Daddy Daycare. It has a few good lyrics and is fun and upbeat, but I just don’t love it. Half the time, I end up skipping it before the end. It’s like musical Splenda: sweet but fake.

“Cornelia Street”: 6.5/10

This is another track that almost feels too specific, but it is very sweet and has grown on me since I first heard it. I just can’t figure out if she wrote this song about a romantic or platonic relationship.

“Death By A Thousand Cuts”: 7.5/10

This song isn’t really fast, but it’s a little faster than I expected. I really like some of the lyrics though, particularly this one:

You said it was a great love, one for the ages, but if the story’s over, why am I still writing pages?

I don’t know enough about how music is produced to know if this is a possibility, but if so, I think a mashup with “All Too Well” would be incredible.

“London Boy”: 4/10

The song sounds fun, but its another very specific song that people who haven’t been to London won’t be able to appreciate as much. Also, the weird line about a “Tennessee Stella McCartney” seems like a corporate decision to sell more ugly, airbrushed-looking t-shirts that nobody asked for.

“Soon You’ll Get Better” (feat. Dixie Chicks): 2/10

This song might have people crying, but illness and death weren’t exactly the themes I was imaging when I said I wanted something devastatingly sad. I’m surprised this track made the album actually, it seems too private to belong. It feels like you’re witnessing something indecent, as if you’ve just walked into a room to find someone mourning the death of a loved one. Call me heartless, but… skip.

“False God”: 4/10

This song is interesting. It’s a lot more, uhh, sensual than anything Taylor has made in the past. I don’t love it and I don’t hate it, it just feels different.

“You Need To Calm Down”: 4.5/10

In regards to my statement that this song is too political: don’t get me wrong, I appreciate Taylor’s contribution to the fight for LGB equality with this track. Also, I see how YNTCD fits with the overall theme of the album being “a love letter to love itself.” It’s just that you can only listen to a song with such a strong political message so many times before that’s all you hear, and I don’t think that makes for great music, regardless of how catchy it is or even how you feel about the message.

“AfterGlow”: 6.5/10

A very solid track; introspective and entertaining.

“ME!” (feat. Brendon Urie): 2/10

As I said before, this song is a bit juvenile. It’s simplistic and just doesn’t really fit with the others on the album; not what I would’ve picked for the lead single.

“It’s Nice To Have A Friend”: 1/10

The beginning of this song sounds like it should be opening credit music for a day-in-the-life documentary about a resident of Hiroshima on August 6th, 1945. It only gets worse from there. It’s slow and boring, and I skip it without hesitation.

“Daylight”: 9/10

This is probably the best song on the album. It’s reflective and refreshing, it doesn’t try too hard, and it’s a great conclusion for the album that this could’ve been.

In Conclusion:

This album just doesn’t hit the same as her previous ones. There were a couple good tracks, but there were also some really bizarre choices made, and overall, the album wasn’t very relatable. As I mentioned earlier, it’s her prerogative to write whatever sort of songs she wants to, and it certainly seems that this album was written for herself, but in turn that makes for an album that’s far less relatable than any of her past records.

Had Lover been 3-4 songs shorter, more sonically cohesive, and had less of that “musical Splenda” vibe, it would be really good. But as things stand, the album lacks replay value. I’m already tired of it, and I don’t feel obligated to keep listening to it. In fact, Taylor is on a clear downward trend since 1989, and given the slap to the face dealt by “The Man,” I’ve decided to take a step back from TS. I’m still a fan, but I don’t feel the same level of emotional commitment I did before this album. At least we have “Beautiful Ghosts” to look forward to.

UPDATED: 11/9/19, 17:00

I’m late to the game here, and this is more of an internal monologue of my thoughts than a thorough review, but I wanted to finally write about some of the things that have stuck with me from Avengers: Endgame. I thought it would be premature to do it before now because I wanted the chance to rewatch it a few more times, but since you can buy the film on iTunes now, I’ve been able to rewatch it again (after seeing it in theaters twice back in April) and organize my thoughts. If you haven’t seen it yet, (well, firstly wtf is wrong with you, and secondly,) here’s your ⚠️ Spoiler Warning.

Generally, I really liked the movie, and I think it will have more replay value than most finales, like “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2” or “The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2.” I think they did a fantastic job with the character arcs, but I did have a few issues with the film from a plot perspective.

First of all, Carol Danvers (Captain Marvel) seems a bit too powerful to be believable. She can travel at nearly the speed of light, and she seemed fairly capable of handling Thanos by herself. I get that they tried to balance out her apparent invincibility and general ability to whoop ass by saying that there were a lot of other planets that needed her help—fine, that makes sense. But what doesn’t make sense is that for so long after the Avengers pull off their “time heist” and have all six infinity stones, she was still nowhere to be found. It seems like no matter what else she was doing, all six infinity stones being in the same place at the same time would be enough to warrant her immediate attention.

I also think that the Captain Marvel character (specifically as she’s presented in Endgame) would’ve benefited from being about 15% less cocky. I get that we’re hyping up the whole female power-equality-feminism thing, but there’s a difference between cockiness and confidence. In a similar vein, I thought that whole female character ensemble towards the end of the fight when they help Carol get the stones in the special glove (does it have a name? I don’t think it does. I’m calling it the Iron Gauntlet) to the van was a little much. I know we’re talking about a universe with superheroes and magic rocks, but what are the odds that all the female characters ended up in the same exact spot at the same time on that massive battlefield? The similar moment in Infinity War with Nat, Wanda, and Okoye was much better. While we’re on the subject of women, the movie would’ve benefited from more Natalie Portman (as Jane, not Thor🙄).

Next, lets talk about the whole time travel thing. Time travel is a fairly weak plot device, and its primary weakness is that it often creates a lot of logical problems; Endgame was not immune to this weakness. The easiest way to reconcile with these plot holes is to ignore them, because once you get started, you probably aren’t coming out of that rabit hole for a while. Cause like, what about that whole timeline where Loki got away with the tesseract? How did Tony solve the question of time travel in five minutes by inverting a mobius strip (which is already inverted)? And wouldn't the Avengers have seen Cap putting all the stones back while they were collecting them, since they had to be returned to the same moments they were taken from? Or was there a little wiggle room? If so, why didn’t he put the soul stone back a few seconds before Nat fell to her death? How could Cap live out a life with Peggy while she had a husband? Why didn’t they just go back and take the stones from Thanos with the Iron Gauntlet before he used them in Infinity War? If changing the past doesn't actually impact the future, then all of those things should have been possibilities. And why don’t they just make more Pym Particles?!?

Though, I will concede that, to Endgame’s benefit, the stories that Marvel has been telling do span a rather wide amount of time, so there were unique ways that they were able to use time travel to incorporate humor and heart. At the end of the day, I’m not mad that they resorted to using time travel, I just wish they’d come up with something better.

Moving on from my grievances with the plot, the story did complete a lot of character arcs really nicely, namely for the six original Avengers, and I think we can give credit for part of that maturation to the five year gap between Infinity War and Endgame. Tony is a lot more compassionate and level headed. Bruce was able to finally establish some internal peace between himself and Hulk. Thor (while a hot mess for most of the movie) finally accepted that he simply wasn’t the person everyone expected him to be. I can’t say too much for Clint—not gonna lie, I wish it had been him who had died for the soul stone, but that wouldn’t have had the same emotional impact. Natasha really transformed from the beginning of the MCU, and I think she had the most beautifully tragic life of all the Avengers, but her motivations were finally out of the shadows, and her arc was truly complete. Cap really changed a lot as well, maintaining the same optimism and grit he always had, but also allowing himself to be a lot less uptight.

Speaking of Cap (and briefly regressing to one of those rabbit hole plot issues), I think we’ve all known since “Age of Ultron” that he would eventually wield Mjölnir, but I didn’t realize that he would be able to use it to also conjure lightning. That seemed a little gratuitous and a bit too much outside of his territory; Thor is a god, but Cap isn’t, and I don’t think he would be able to adopt Thor’s powers just because he’s worthy of wielding his weapon.

Getting back to the subject of character arcs, I want to address the several impactful death scenes. Tony’s death was slow and you knew it was coming for several minutes. To me, this had less emotional impact than the two most memorable close calls he had, in Infinity War when Thanos stabbed him, and in Civil War at the end of his fight with Cap (I honestly thought Cap was about to bash his head in with that shield the last time he brought it down into Tony’s chest). In any case, I thought it was done well, and I liked how Pepper and Peter were so present for it. Iron Man is my favorite Avenger, but Natasha’s death really cut deep—I actually think I was more upset about her death than any other. It was just such an emotionally impactful completion of her character arc. Scarlett Johansson’s acting and the music really took that scene to another level. I hate that Tony and Nat had to go, but I’m honestly surprised that more characters didn’t bite it, especially some of the auxiliary Avengers (Bucky, Rhodey, Scott, I’m looking at y'all). And as for Thanos’s ultimate death scene: I didn’t like it. There’s something satisfying about having a villain’s cold, obviously dead body be presented on screen as opposed to having them just fade into nonexistence (Harry Potter screwed this up, too).

Overall, I really liked the movie, and felt like it was an appropriately epic conclusion to the MCU as we’ve known it.

Also worth noting: this movie really changed how I watch “Age of Ultron.” Up until this point, I’d considered AoU to be the weakest of the four Avengers movies, and it was hard to look past the fact that the main plot driver, Ultron, was a fairly weak concept. However, now I don’t think we’re giving it enough credit. It works a lot better after having seen Endgame. There are quite a few Endgame easter eggs, and it’s clearer than ever just how much leg work that movie did in terms of expanding the MCU, from furthering character arcs and tying in a lot of second tier players, to introducing the infinity stones, to setting up “Captain America: Civil War.” AoU had a lot of ground to cover, and it’s clearer than ever after watching Endgame how well of a job it did, despite having the weakest plot line of the four Avengers films.

I was excited to learn that this blurb I wrote a few weeks ago is no longer relevant. Even though I wasn’t throughly impressed by “Spider-Man: Far From Home,” it’s still one of the better Spider-Man sequels, simply because it exists within the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and I’m relieved that Disney and Sony were able to negotiate a new deal.

Sad news broke today that Sony has decided to drag the Spider-Man character back under their sole control, as they’ve declined new contracts with Disney that would allow allow Marvel Studios to continue their run with the character.

This seems like very bad news for the goofy, young Spider-Man we’ve grown to love, Tom Holland. Each of the three modern live action Spider-Man series have had their strengths and weaknesses, but I think people tend to agree that the most recent iteration was the strongest, and a lot of that strength came from the already established Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Today is a magical day for Harry Potter fans: it is J.K. Rowling’s birthday, Harry Potter’s birthday, and the twelfth anniversary of the release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, the final book in the series.

Things have changed a lot since 2007, but one thing has not changed. The fans desperately want a comprehensive encyclopedia of Harry’s world. This eagerly anticipated addition to the Wizarding World has been promised and retracted more times than I care to remember, and waiting for it while seeing so many other new additions to the Harry Potter universe that nobody asked for (Cursed Child, Fantastic Beasts) has been utterly exhausting. Pottermore was an interesting and appreciated way for JKR to offer fans more of the information that we crave, but it has never been the comprehensive volume we’ve been wanting for years. On the behalf of every Harry Potter fan, as well as the charities that would benefit from the promised donation of the resulting proceeds, please, finally, give us the encyclopedia.

I've waited twelve years, I'm not going to wait much longer.

—Sirius Black

The United States Treasury has two requirements for putting someone’s image on U.S. currency:

1. The individual must have a well known place in American history.

2. The individual must be deceased.

Given that Taylor Swift has had one of the most successful musical careers ever, the first requirement has clearly been satisfied. In regards to the second requirement — we all know that she can’t come to the phone right now, and we all know why.

I believe this memorialization of the old Taylor is appropriate. I made this near the beginning of the reputation era, and I’m still quite proud of it.

I recently watched HBO’s new miniseries, Chernobyl, and it really exceeded my expectations. I know there were some historical inaccuracies as there are with any docudrama, but from my understanding, Chernobyl gets all the key events right, and most of the details as well (particularly with the costumes and set design). It also provided a good explanation of how the disaster actually happened, which was new, much appreciated information to me.

The acting was phenomenal—I particularly loved Emily Watson’s portrayal of her character. The scenes with firefighters on the night of the disaster and the following weeks, as well as the stories of the miners and the young men sent to Pripyat in the following months to do damage control were particularly gripping, and they really reinforce the humanity of the people who had to deal with this disaster—it really helps you to understand the Soviet people during the Cold War period as fellow human beings who care about and are motivated by the same things as us, rather than as mortal enemies.

The main theme of the series has to do with the importance of truth and the danger of lies, and there were some incredible quotes. My favorite:

With every lie we tell, we incur a debt to the truth.

Interestingly, HBO also produced an official podcast with episodes that corresponded with each episode of the show, where the show’s creator discusses the events of each installment; maybe I’m living under a rock, but no other show I’ve watched has done this to my knowledge, and I thought it was a great way to offer background information that otherwise wouldn’t have been provided.

 This is exciting. I love the Hunger Games—stories that have the ability to make you think critically about the world are the best kind. I’d been thinking recently that I wanted a reason to get excited about the Hunger Games again, so this is perfect. Hopefully they can produce a spinoff a bit more gracefully than the Harry Potter franchise was able to do (despite multiple attempts).

Taylor Swift’s latest single, “You Need To Calm Down,” dropped less than 30 minutes ago (I’m writing this at 00:28, 6/14/19) and my first impression after listening to it 7 times is that it absolutely SLAPS.

Like, Cal vs. Rose in Titanic-SLAP. Hermione vs. Draco in Prisoner of Azkaban-SLAP. Friday night, frat house-ballsack SLAPPIN’ (no homo bro*). “You Need To Calm Down” is ONE COMPLETE AND TOTAL SLAP.🖐🏼

Man. Anyway. YNTCD has a different sound than most of Taylor’s previous music, but I think she pulls it off gracefully. It also has a few GREAT lyrics that have probably been in Taylor’s back pocket for a while. I think it’s terrific, and I think we’re in for an incredible album, come August 23rd.

*It’s absolutely worth noting that YNTCD is an instant gay anthem and a loud “fuck you” to homophobic pricks everywhere. So, thanks sis.😏 

This story is basically an erotica-style alternate ending for Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. I generally don’t care for fan fiction at all—I think it’s a very overrated medium. I read this because I wanted a laugh and I love the guy who wrote it (Andrew Sims, a longtime leader of the Harry Potter fandom and host of MuggleCast, one of my favorite podcasts), and for better or for worse, it seems more like canon than the actual ending of CC. It is undeniably smutty at some points (hey, if that’s what you’re into, go for it), but when it’s not being E.L. James-y, it’s actually pretty charming.

Taylor Swift just announced via an Instagram post that her upcoming 7th album will be titled Lover, and will be released on August 23rd; I am very excited. 💗

She had previously said that the ”ME!” music video subtly revealed the titles of both this upcoming album and the next single to be released. I think most people, myself included, assumed that the next single would be called “Lover,” not the album (which I had guessed would be called Kaleidoscope). The “Lover”-guess originated from this scene at 1:57–I thought it seemed a bit too obvious to be the album title, but here we are. The next single is going to be called “You Need To Calm Down,” and I hope it is every bit as sassy as it sounds.

I think the album artwork is gorgeous; it’s colorful and fun, and I appreciate that it gives equal weight to the primary colors rather than just focusing on unbalanced pastel shades (I was afraid it would be seafoam green, light purple, and pink).

Also of note, the album has a whopping 18 songs, and is already available to pre-add or pre-order from all the big digital music stores and streaming companies. 

Taylor Swift is an incredible songwriter. She’s got an unparalleled knack for writing extremely specific yet intensely relatable lines that hit home with fans and casual listeners alike. She’s broken more records than I can name from memory, and every album she releases has multiple chart toppers. She’s become a household name, and managed to remain relevant for thirteen years without a lull in her popularity. She is perhaps the ONLY artist to successfully transition from country to pop, a feat which she managed to pull off fearlessly and with class, as opposed to the scores of country artists who have recently attempted the same transition but ended up creating a gross country-pop hybrid which, unfortunately, is becoming the new norm for country music.

I want to briefly comment of her latest release (a more thorough analysis of her new music will be coming in the next few months). Taylor’s latest single is called “ME!,” and it serves as the lead single for her upcoming 7th album (for which she still hasn’t confirmed a title, though I tend to believe it will be called Kaleidoscope). Coming on the heels of the darker, more serious reputation era that preceded it, ”ME!” is a firm step in a much lighter and more jovial direction. While a little repetitive and not lyrically groundbreaking, the track is fun and upbeat, which is a welcome shift after having spent a while with the more serious songs of reputation.

When I originally found out that the song featured Brendon Urie, I was less than excited. Taylor’s songs that feature other artists generally aren’t her best, in my opinion. I was surprised to find that I ended up liking Brendon’s role in the song a lot, despite the fact that I am not a fan of Panic! At The Disco. My only real complaint is that his voice seemed to overpower Taylor’s a bit at some points, but it wasn’t a huge issue.

Overall, I like the song, and I think we’re in for a very solid seventh album from Ms. Swift.

I wrote this back on August 2nd, 2016, just two days after the script book was released. I remember how excited I was to read it, and I did so in the middle of the night after having picked up my copy at midnight from Barnes and Noble. 

⚠️ Spoiler Warning

The first act was great. The second, third, and fourth acts were an absolute plot disaster. It ignored previously-established rules within the story (Voldemort didn't love anyone, and he certainly didn't love anyone enough to have a child with them), and I wish it had never been published. I can only hope it's better as a play. The only reason I didn't stop reading halfway through the book was because Albus and Scorpius are fantastic characters, and there was a ton(≥ 12 specific examples) of evidence to support the notion that they would eventually come out of the closet and be a couple, but alas, it didn't happen. I am by no means a fan of forcing straight characters to be gay for the sake of diversity, but I consider forcing gay characters to be straight for the sake of heteronormativity just as bad. 

Unfortunately, my opinions are exactly the same three years later. Cursed Child is a plot nightmare, and an obvious money grab. 

The notion that Voldemort had sex with anyone is absurd. He could not love as a result of his conception under the influence of a love potion. He would’ve had no need for an heir, as he had gone to great measures to ensure that he would never die in the first place. Finally, while I don’t have the details on the potion from GOF that recreated a body for Voldemort in the Little Hangleton graveyard, I highly doubt that his new body would come with a functioning penis, and even if it DID, it’s still not something anyone wanted to have to think about. But alas, I guess the Dark Lord did “rise again.”

Moving forward (or rather, backwards), the overwhelming use of time travel as a cheap plot device was horrifying. Time-Turners were destroyed by J.K. Rowling in book five for a reason. They open up way too many plot problems that JKR had the foresight to get in front of before it came back to bite her, only to later undo that decision in a shoddy turn of events that served one purpose: creating this bullshit story to milk the fans for even more money. 

I could go on for a while, but I’l make this my last point. Everyone acknowledges the obvious chemistry between Albus and Scorpius, except for the writers, who apparently thought the last scene of the play was a good opportunity to unveil their supposed heterosexuality. There are SO MANY EXAMPLES of these boys literally crying over each other, hugging, and talking about how miserable they are without each other, and none of this comes across as being in any way platonic. We all know what they’re getting into in the Slytherin dormitory after the lights go out, and it ain’t Gobstones.

All in all, I wish this play did not exist. It is clear that it only serves as a way to make more money off of the Harry Potter franchise. I am immensely pleased that the Harry Potter fandom has generally decided to reject this play and consider it non-canon. It was a thinly veiled venture from the beginning, and three years later, the promise that everyone would be able to see it is not even close to having come to fruition. It would cost most fans hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars to arrange for travel accommodations to one of the very few cities where this play is being shown, and then they still have to buy tickets, which cost far more than any Harry Potter book ever did (there’s still no word of it being available as a film, which is about the only way it will every be available to all the people who care about Harry Potter’s story). I really wanted to like it, but there are just too many issues I can’t ignore.