It was a good weekend for my teams. Go Vols, and #keeppounding

Ps. I see you, Kyle Allen 👀 🍑 🏈

Dear anyone who drives in emergency services vehicle, enter enter

Dear anyone who drives an emergency services vehicle, enter enter

If there’s an actual emergency, how about you do more than 41 miles per fucking hour in a 50 mph zone on a multiple lane highway.

Sincerely, everyone who doesn’t appreciate having to sit behind your bright ass.

Bottoming is like whiskey. 

Some guys will drink whiskey a whole bunch because they like how it makes them feel in the moment, but that satisfaction is temporary and they always need more. They obviously have some internal shit to sort out too. They’re binge drinkers. This is pretty much the same as a power bottom who whores around and secretly hates himself. 

Some guys will have one or two, maybe even several bad experiences with whiskey, and then write it off completely. That doesn’t necessarily mean they hate it or even that they couldn’t love it, just that they got hurt by it and aren’t willing to try more varieties or in different scenarios with different people. Maybe their first experience was with some asshole who spiked their drink, or they drank with the wrong group, didn’t know how much was too much, etc, the reason doesn’t matter. This could be like a guy was raped or didn’t know how to prepare, maybe the guy topping him wasn’t gentle enough, or something else; there are plenty of explanations for a bad first time.

A smaller class of guys will refuse to ever try it altogether, usually because of some internal conflict. This group of people could be compared to super religious folks who are against it because they think there’s a moral issue at hand. That’s like the guy who doesn’t wanna try it because he thinks it’ll make him feminine or less of a man, but that’s complete bullshit. Taking a dick isn’t easy, and it requires grit—at least at first, you gotta take it like a man. 

Then there’s a group of men who started off trying whiskey slowly, and with other guys who knew what made a good whiskey good and could help them get started. They take their time, figure out what they like and what they don’t, and know how to get the best experience from it in the future. It’s an acquired taste. This is the type of guy you wanna be. 

The good news is that old people are trump voters, and old people tend to die sooner than young people. #nottrump2020

If you’re like me and prefer sweeter coffee, this is a solid on-the-go option.

Yup.

Happy first day of term for all my readers out there who are returning to Hogwarts today!

Who else remembers having to memorize this practically useless bullshit for no good reason? Y’all wanna know how many times I’ve needed to calculate a sine, cosine, or tangent since high school? Not fucking once.

The Naturday is really a wondrous invention.

I’m rather pleased with this assessment of my political beliefs (I’m the star). Take the quiz for yourself at ISideWith.com.

I don’t know what we did to deserve a 65° day in late August in the steamy south, but holy shit I love it.

Wooo just dropped my phone in the shower, and while I tried to snatch it in the middle of its slow motion free fall, it’s slippery (bc water) so I ended up just spiking it against the tile floor. Somehow it survived. But it did crack a tile. So I guess that’s one dub for 2018 iPhone durability.

iPhone: 1

Tile: 0

Happy Massacre Day! Tennessee plays Alabama tonight.