'THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT'
When Taylor Swift’s profile pictures across social media platforms turned from color to black and white on the day of the 2024 Grammys, every Swiftie in the world freaked the fuck out because we knew exactly what was coming: reputation (Taylor’s Version).
The Eras Tour was at the peak of its cultural dominance, the rerecording project was firing on all cylinders, and we had been teasing apart Taylor’s every move, outfit choice, surprise song combo, instagram post, etc. for any hint or easter egg that “rep TV” was on its way. Every Swiftie in the world was then understandably flabbergasted when Taylor hopped up on the Grammys stage to accept the award for Pop Vocal Album of the Year for Midnights, and announced that she had spent the last two years creating an entirely new album called The Tortured Poets Department.
We were flabbergasted again when, two hours after the album’s release, an entire second half of the album dropped with 15 additional songs, which Taylor called The Tortured Poets Department: The Anthology. She dropped 31 new songs when we weren’t even expecting a new album in the first place. We still didn’t know where reputation (Taylor’s Version) was, but we Swifties were eating well.
General Thoughts
This album quickly became one of my favorites and remains in my top three. It was, and may forever be, as close as it’s going to get to the sophisticated, grown-up, sleek/sexy pop album with a black-and-white aesthetic that I had been wanting Taylor to make for years.
The Anthology is clearly the weaker half of the double album, but I sort of treat those songs like bonus songs: the good ones serve to make the main album better while its lesser songs don’t detract from how much I like the album generally. Perhaps that’s a little too generous for a work billed as a double album rather than a standard version plus bonus material, but oh well.
I’ve given each song two ratings on a scale of zero to ten: the first rating is how I felt about it after the first time I listened to it, and the second is how I feel about it now, two and a half years and dozens of listens later.
Song by Song:
“Fortnight” (feat. Post Malone): 6.5/10, 7.5/10
A very fun song, and Post Malone is, unexpectedly, a great addition to it. I didn’t expect them to work so well together, but this song is a great time.
“The Tortured Poets Department”: 6/10, 6.5/10
Title tracks are always interesting. I think this one was a good one to name the album after, but the song itself is a little weaker than the album as a whole. It’s not bad at all, though.
“My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys”: 6.5/10, 8/10
This is a great pop song, one of the best on the album and one of her strongest in the three pop albums since Lover. I really love this one.
“Down Bad”: 7.5/10, 5.5/10
I’m going against the grain here, but this song doesn’t do as much for me as it does for a lot of Swifties. It’s not bad, it just doesn’t strike much of a chord with me.
“So Long, London”: 5/10, 9/10
This one aged like fine wine. In retrospect, this may be one of the only songs about Joe Alwyn in an album we thought would be entirely focused on him. It’s a beautiful, bitter goodbye to an element of your past, filled with excellent imagery and metaphors. “You swore that you loved me but where were the clues?/I died on the altar waiting for the proof/You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days/And I’m just getting color back into my face/I’m just mad as hell ‘cause I loved this place/For so long, London” — incredible. A track five tour de force.
“But Daddy I Love Him”: 7/10, 7.5/10
The best part of this song is when Taylor calls out her own fans for overstepping in their parasocial relationships with her, to the extent that they felt entitled to issue wild, virtue-signaling criticisms of Taylor for her personal relationships that had absolutely nothing to do with said fans. They really went too far, and she let them know. Suddenly, some Swifties were acting like the snakes.
“Fresh Out The Slammer”: 6/10, 5/10
Track sevens have a tendency to be slower and a little less impressive overall; that trend continues on TTPD.
“Florida!!!” (feat. Florence + the Machine): 6.5/10, 8/10
Another great pop song, this time about killing a lover and burying him in a swamp. What’s not to love?
“Guilty as Sin?”: 6.5/10, 6/10
I’m not the biggest fan of this one; I find it just okay. There’s nothing wrong with it, it’s just not really my cup of tea, I suppose.
“Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?”: 8/10, 9/10
I really like this song a lot. She’s pissed off and the lyrics she uses are extremely vivid, and that combination results in an absolutely scathing track about the unfair criticisms she’s received throughout her career. Top three on the album for me.
“I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)”: 6/10, 4/10
You can’t have highs without lows, so… Taylor gave us this song. It sounds like it belongs on evermore, and that’s not exactly a good thing for a song on a pop album. It’s slow and dreary and the lyrics are a bit clunky as well. Not a huge fan.
“loml”: 7/10, 5.5/10
This one is also slow, and just a little too sonically bleak to be much fun. That said, the trademark Taylor Swift lyric/perspective shift at the end of the song is a good one.
“I Can Do It With a Broken Heart”: 7/10, 8/10
This one is a bit specific to Taylor’s experience as an artist, but it’s a very fun song, and the Eras Tour performance of it was terrific. Thematically, it’s a pretty obvious precursor to her next album.
“The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived”: 8/10, 9/10
Sonically, this song starts as a lament or ballad, but at the bridge it turns into a loud, angry march. It’s one of her angriest songs since reputation, and the bridge is a 15/10.
“The Alchemy”: 5/10, 5.5/10
Again, no highs without lows. This sounds way too similar to the terrible songs featuring corny football lyrics that people made after Taylor started dating Travis Kelce.
“Clara Bow”: 7/10, 6.5/10
Another song about Taylor’s experience with fame and how the music industry treats young artists as a commodity to use and sooner or later discard. It’s a good song, but not terribly relatable for most non-pop stars. It is a treat to hear her sing her own name at the end, though.
“The Black Dog”: 8.5/10, 9/10
She really opens The Anthology on a high note. “The Black Dog” is another of my recent favorites, and it has an incredible bridge. Since it came out, I have acquired several pieces of non-Taylor-related merchandise that reference black dogs just because of how great this is.
“imgonnagetyouback”: 6/10, 8/10
This is a terrific pop song, made better by the fact that it plays right into the stereotype of Taylor being completely boy-crazy and insane. The whole time, you’re not sure if she wants reconciliation or revenge, and maybe she isn’t sure either. It’s great.
“The Albatross”: 6/10, 7.5/10
This song is basically “don’t judge a book by its cover” turned into a song. That said, I don’t expect every Taylor song to be a completely original thought, and the message she’s conveying lends itself well to the aforementioned tendency of hers to flip the perspective of a song towards the end. It’s a good one.
“Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus”: 5.5/10, 5/10
Not a huge fan, personally. It’s a bit wordy and a little too melancholy.
“How Did It End?”: 6.5/10, 6.5/10
This is one of the slower, quieter songs on the album, but that’s not always a bad thing.
“So High School”: 9/10, 6/10
This one didn’t age well for me. It’s upbeat and fun, it just doesn't have a ton of replay value in my opinion. I think its initial 9/10 was heavily influenced by the inclusion of the line “Touch me while your bros play Grand Theft Auto”.
“I Hate It Here”: 5.5/10, 6.5/10
This isn’t a song I come back to often, unless I’m in a relatively dark mental space. But in those moments, its a salve.
“thanK you aIMee”: 6/10, 4.5/10
It really feels like we should be done making songs about Kanye and Kim at this point. She remains as vapid as ever and he’s proven himself to be a literal Nazi, so I feel like Taylor could afford to stop beating this horse.
“I Look in People’s Windows”: 5.5/10, 7.5/10
I quite like this song. I’ve heard that it’s supposed to be a metaphor for keeping up with someone you haven’t gotten over via social media, which is all too relatable these days. At least, it would be for the deranged weirdos with unhealthy attachment styles. 🥴
“The Prophecy”: 5.5/10, 5/10
Eh. It’s fine. Pining for love and whatnot. You’ve heard this one before.
“Cassandra”: 6/10, 5/10
Not her best. If The Anthology was just a selection of bonus tracks or an EP rather than a second album, I don’t think this one makes the cut.
“Peter”: 5/10, 8/10
I think this song is about a former lover who never grew up and therefore a later-in-life rekindling of the relationship was destined to fail, but I like it a lot better through a different lens. Consider that it could be a message (or a final goodbye) to one’s wide-eyed, optimistic younger self whose grand plans for the future never materialized. I like the idea that it’s from one’s older, present self who at some point had to part ways with their youthful innocence and dreams, but hoped that they would find their way back to them in a finally realized material form in their adulthood, but is now mourning the fact that it never happened. This doesn’t fit as neatly because I don’t think that’s what the song is about, but I like it better.
“The Bolter”: 6/10, 8.5/10
A song about someone afraid of commitment? Revolutionary. But actually, this time the girl is the one who can’t commit, and that is a bit more rare. In any case, it’s still a great song.
“Robin”: 5.5/10, 2.5/10
This is one of her worst songs in a hot minute. File it away with “Ronan”.
“The Manuscript”: 7.5/10, 8.5/10
I really love this song. The general consensus seems to be that it’s a retelling of “All Too Well” that gives a little more behind-the-scenes info, and acknowledges the broader meaning that song has taken on for fans around the world in the twelve years (at the time) since it was released. But I think you can also read more into it and see echoes of several of Taylor’s other past relationships. It’s just so good. It’s the reason I own a French press.
Final Thoughts
This should’ve been the album that won Taylor her record-breaking Album of the Year Grammy. No shade to Midnights, but this album is simply superior. Midnights will remain middle-of-the-pack as far as her discography goes, but I firmly believe that in time, this one will rise to the upper echelon for most people.